The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
