You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
