Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
