shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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