like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
