I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
