The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
