Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
