so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
