do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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