...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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