I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
