Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
