Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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