This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
