Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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