i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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