I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
