Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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