office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
