It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
