He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize