YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
