And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
soo... how was my night?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
