I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
