I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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