Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
