the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
