bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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