Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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