So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
