is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
