Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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