Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
