she was so not down for the gang bang
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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