we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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