I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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