I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
