Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
