she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ladies don't puke and tell
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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