sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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