A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
