4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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