she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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