This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
