Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
