so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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