my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
