spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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