Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
