is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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