Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
