My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
