I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need moral support for this bender
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
