thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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